Magic Act
by I love Neville
Summary: "He'd told his brother this was a bad idea. He'd told him that nobody but Nonno wanted to see his stupid magic tricks, but had he listened? No, of course not." Feliciano is about to make a fool of not only himself, but his brother, too, by putting on a magic act in front of the school, and he's not even good at magic. Slight GerIta, with hints of other ships. Ships listed inside.


**Okay, so I had two snow days, and I've had this idea floating around my head for a while, ever since I saw this awesome picture of Feli as a magician, so I did this. There's no explicit shipping in this other than Gerita, at least nothing important to the plot, but there are teeny-tiny hints of Spamano, Ameripan, PruHun, AusHun and FrUK, I guess. Also, I made an Attack on Titan joke despite never actually seeing Attack on Titan, so sorry about that.**

**Side note- I made Grandpa Rome's human name Romulus. It's a popular name for him, plus it makes sense, so I went with it. Same reason I'm calling Seborga Romeo.**

He'd _told_ his brother this was a bad idea. He'd _told_ him that nobody but Nonno wanted to see his stupid magic tricks, but had he listened? No, of course not. Why would Feli listen to his older brother?

It wasn't as if his fratello was good at magic, either. A few card tricks, a disappearing act or two, but no real talent. So why the hell was he going to show the whole school, plus a bunch of parents, his mediocre skill?

He was embarrassed for Feli. Lovino knew that everyone thought he would mess up- people were cruel, of course that was what they were thinking. He scanned the crowd, not paying any attention to the current act. His eyes locked on Ludwig Beilschmidt, who was looking at the stage, obviously dreading what was coming next.

_That bastard_! He thought Feliciano was going to fail, didn't he? Lovino's blood boiled, and he grit his teeth. Maybe his brother would do fine! Yeah, he'd be great, just to prove potato bastard wrong. He completely disregarded the fact that he thought Feli would fall on his face, too. It was different, obviously- he was worried about his fratello, while Ludwig... He probably wanted Feli to fail, right? It'd be a good laugh.

A good laugh... Feli didn't seem to get that people laughed at him, or at least Lovino didn't think he did. He seemed to think that everybody laughed _with_ him, that everyone was his friend. Lovi wasn't really sure how his brother could be so optimistic. There was only one other person on earth that was half as bubbly as Feliciano, and that was the Spaniard right next to him.

Now that he thought about it, the Italian didn't know why Antonio _was_ next to him. Potato bastard number two and Francey-pants were a few rows up, and he was a bit confused as to why Toni wasn't with them.

The jerk was too friendly for his own good. It seemed a bit unfair to call him a jerk, since he hadn't really done anything to Lovino yet, but he would. Everyone turned out to be an ass in the end. He was probably only nice to the older Italian to get free food at his Nonno's restaurant, anyway- that's why anyone was ever nice to Lovino. Sure, Antonio already waited tables there, but he could always use more of a discount, right? Yeah, that had to be it. He scootched away from the other boy instinctively. Toni seemed a bit hurt, but Lovino tried not to notice. It was for the best if he was offended, anyway- he couldn't be a genuinely good person, so it was best to drive him away, right? He'd gotten in fights with the British kid in grade school, after all, vicious ones, so there was no way that he was as innocent as he seemed. Lovino was doing himself a favor by ignoring the other boy.

The only person who was that nice for no reason was his brother, and Feliciano was fucking _weird_.

His point was proven not a moment later, when the act ended and Feli walked onstage, clad in a full magician's outfit, including a tailcoat and a top hat that fell over his eyes. Really, his brother couldn't even dress like a normal human being for this? He nearly tripped on the tails of his coat, which were a bit too long. A few students laughed, and the audience started to titter. Lovino slumped down in his seat and groaned. He didn't even push Antonio away when he inched closer, he was so embarrassed.

The act didn't start out great, not at all. Feli went to grab cards from his pocket, and they fell all over the ground. He quickly picked them up and started to shuffle them. The shuffling was quite complex, and it looked relatively intricate, but the mistake had lost the audience. They were impatient with the Italian already.

A rabbit out of his hat and a dove out of his coat sleeve earned a smattering of polite applause, but his delivery was nervous and jittery. Feli was red in the face already, scanning the crowd for friendly faces. There were a few, sure- Kiku and Ludwig were relatively encouraging, his little brother Romeo was smiling, and his Nonno was practically beaming, but the majority didn't care. He tried not to let this bother him as he moved on to his next trick.

A piece of paper that tore, but with a flick of his wrist, became whole again, a card that levitated in thin air, a wallet that disappeared from a Canadian student's pocket and reappeared in Feli's hand- better tricks then Feli had ever pulled off before, at least from what Lovino remembered, but nothing truly show-stopping. Nothing all that impressive, at least not to a group of bored high school students.

Feliciano was nearly done. Just one more act- the finale. If this didn't get them interested... well, he wasn't sure what _would_, to be honest.

"I need a volunteer from the audience!" he smiled, once again scanning the crowd. As tempting as it was, he couldn't choose a friend. People would be more suspicious and disbelieving of the trick if it was someone he was close to.

"Alright, alright guys, quit it!" The voice came from the middle of the crowd, where a group of athletes were laughing and pushing someone forward. A tall, lanky blonde with a bomber's jacket, a cowlick and glasses stumbled forward, laughing and dusting himself off. Alfred F. Jones- the Canadian kid's brother, actually. He grinned at Feli and laughed. "I volunteer as tribute!"

There were a few laughs, a few exasperated sighs and one "Bloody _Hell_, Alfred..."

Feli simply giggled and motioned to the stage. Alfred jumped up. "So, what're we doin', then? Do I get to be your beautiful assistant?" He pretended to flip his hair back and winked.

Lovino slumped even lower in his seat, his face bright red. He wondered fleetingly if Feli could create a black hole that could swallow him up. It had to be better than_ this..._

"Si! Now, if you'd kindly step into here..." with a flashy wave of his arm, he uncovered a large box. He went behind the box and grabbed a saw. Alfred paled visibly, and the audience perked up. A few teachers stiffened, more than a little concerned for the American's safety. Lovino got an awful knot in his stomach- he was very afraid that he was about to watch his brother unintentionally kill another student. And, to make matters worse, he didn't completely hate Alfred, either.

"You- you're not actually gonna cut me in half, right, dude?"

"Of course I will! But it won't hurt, I promise. I've been practicing on my kitty!"

That didn't exactly make Lovino feel any better, as he hadn't seen Itabby in a few days. Alfred didn't seem convinced either, but he puffed up his chest and nodded. "If you're sure, then, I guess I'll do it." After all, he was the hero. He couldn't let someone _else_ get cut in half, now could he?

A loud whisper of, "Your boyfriend's gonna kill him, West!" could be heard across the auditorium.

Lovino wasn't sure what horrified him more- the fact that Alfred was about to be cut in half right before his eyes, or the fact that Feli had just been called Ludwig's boyfriend. Honestly, it was probably the latter.

Alfred, meanwhile, had stepped into the box, and was waiting nervously for it to close. His twin, Matthieu, had his head in his hands, unable to watch, while Arthur subconsciously grabbed Francis' hand, and, upon realizing what he had done, let go of him, blushing bright red. The Frenchman smiled for a moment, but his expression quickly turned back to one of worry when he remembered what was happening onstage.

Kiku was pale as a sheet, gripping his seat, not daring to look. He wanted to support Feliciano, yes, but he really didn't want to see Alfred get sliced up. Al seemed to notice everyone's reaction and winked at the crowd, grinning goofily. Kiku's face seemed to gain a bit more color, but he still looked terrified.

Ludwig's reaction was completely different, and he found himself unable to tear his eyes away as Feliciano closed the box and started to saw.

After about two minutes, there was a terrible yell. The audience jumped and Feliciano grew pale, dropping the saw. It landed with a loud, metallic clatter, and a hush fell over the crowd. Feli looked as if he was about to cry as he started to open the box, fingers trembling.

"Dude, this is _awesome_!"

Upon hearing that, everyone looked up, looking hopefully at the stage. Feli smiled in relief and flung the box open, revealing Alfred, who was grinning and kicking his legs, which were definitely not attached to the rest of him. But there was no blood, no gore, and the American didn't seem to be in any sort of pain... He was simply half the man he used to be.

"Kiku, I'm cut in half like that guy in that giant cartoon!" he grinned, waving at the Japanese boy.

Kiku, no longer frightened for Alfred's safety, smiled, choosing not to correct Alfred by telling him that it was an _anime_ about _titans._

"Now for part two!" Feli grinned, draping the sheet back over the box.

"Part two? Look, shouldn't you, like, quit while you're still ahead?" asked a blonde Polish boy in a girl's uniform, looking at the box skeptically. "You might, like, kill him!" A nervous looking boy with long brown hair and blue green eyes sat next to him, and nodded in agreement.

"Well, I have to put him back together, don't I?" he beamed. He waved his hands, then removed the sheet with a flourish. The box was gone.

There were nervous whispers as people craned their necks around, looking everywhere for the American.

Then there was a loud clapping and whooping from where the athletes sat. Alfred F. Jones, now in one piece, had somehow been transported back into his seat, and was now leading an applause. Lovino sighed in relief. Thank God the kid wasn't dead.

The next one to stand up was their Nonno, grinning and clapping. He pulled Lovino and Romeo up with him, and the older boy groaned, but clapped as well.

Kiku and Ludwig were next, then Alfred's family and friends, and soon the whole audience was on their feet.

Feli, who was still onstage, beamed, and blew kisses to the audience, taking a deep bow. His hat fell off and he grabbed it quickly, blew another kiss, (this time directly to Ludwig, who sputtered and blushed as his brother nudged him and laughed,) then scurried offstage.

The small Italian happened to be the last act, so after the group bow, he joined the crowd, where he was quickly swallowed up by admirers. Another group swallowed up Alfred, who was describing, in vivid detail how strange it felt not to have any legs, especially since he could still kick them. For some reason, he kept Kiku right by his side the entire time. (Not that the Japanese boy was complaining, really, although he didn't really enjoy the crowd.)

"Wow, how'd you make Alfred disappear like that?" asked a small boy with thick eyebrows and a sailor suit, jumping up and down excitedly.

"Why didn't it kill Alfred when he was cut in half?"

"When'd you learn to do magic like that?"

"Alright, idiots, comin' through- he's my_ brother_, dammit!" Lovino pushed his way through the crowd, surprised to find that his grandfather had already made his way to his brother, and was already coddling him. Romeo there, too, telling a few kids his age that he knew exactly how Feli had done his tricks- which was, obviously, total bullshit. Lovino grimaced and made his way over to his family.

Feli spotted him and grinned, pulling away from the crowd. "Lovi, how'd I do?"

"Ah, well..." Lovino tried to find the right words without sounding sappy. "You didn't suck."

Knowing that this was as close as he was going to get to a compliment, he smiled and hugged his brother. "Grazie, fratello!"

"Yeah, yeah," Lovino grumbled, pushing the ginger off. "Anyway, how'd you do it?"

Felciano raised a brow. "What d'you mean, Lovi?"

"Okay, one- don't call me that. And two- you fucking know what I mean, idiota! How'd you cut Alfred in half, and put him back together? Was he in on it?"

"Nope!"

"Then how'd you do it?" he noticed that the stupid German was in earshot, and he growled, "Hey, you listening in, bastard?"

Ludwig looked a bit confused. "I didn't know it was a private conversation. I'm curious, too..."

"Yeah, well this is a family only talk, so scram!"

Ludwig looked at Feli, then at Lovino, and sighed. "Ja, fine. Tell me later?"

"Fuck _no_ he won't tell you later! Go away!"

"Lovino, don't be rude," Romulus sighed, looking at his grandson disapprovingly. "He might as well be family anyway, si?"

_"Che cosa?!"_

_"Was?!"_

"Oh, come on, West!" Gilbert laughed, appearing from behind his younger brother. "If _Feli's grandpa_ figured out that you two are dating-"

_"We aren't dating, bruder!"_

"You're not?" asked Romulus, seemingly confused.

"Kesesese! Of course they are, Mr. Vargas," the albino snickered, "they just don't know it yet!"

"Oh, so we're dating the same way that you and Elizaveta are dating- in your mind."

"Hey! We are too-"

"She's dating Roderich, you dummkopf!

"Eh, I give 'em a week, at most."

"They've been dating a year and a half!"

"A week _more_, I mean!"

"I thought you all were curious about how I cut Alfred in half?" Feli interrupted suddenly, not enjoying all the fighting going on around him.

"Wait, fratello, are you just trying to change the subject? You and macho potato aren't actually going out, right?" Lovino looked appalled at the thought.

Feli didn't answer. Instead, he said, "It was simple, really!"

_"You aren't answering my damn question!"_

"It was magic!"

Gilbert laughed, Ludwig groaned and Lovino resisted the urge to strangle his brother. Now he was not only confused about his brother's magic tricks, but he had the sinking feeling that his brother might be- _dio mio,_ he didn't want to think about it.

"Feliciano," Ludwig sighed. "There was no way it was simply 'magic.' That's- well, it's _impossible._ There had to be smoke and mirrors, a distraction, something..."

"Nope! What you see is what you get, Luddie!"

_"Oh my fucking god don't call him that."_

Everyone ignored Lovi, who was slowly becoming more and more annoyed.

"The box-"

"Was a perfectly normal box that I painted and sprinkled glitter on!"

"Which you did to distract the audience from paying attention to anything but the box?"

"Which I did, Luddie," Feliciano laughed, shaking his head, "Because I like to make things look pretty! I mean, who'd wanna stare at a boring old cardboard box?"

"Und your outfit being too big, that was to hide things needed for the act, ja?"

"Nope, I just wanted a magician's outfit, and the only one I could find was too big! I just didn't have time to tailor it!"

"Then Alfred must have been in on the trick..."

"I already told Lovi that he wasn't! It was honest-to-goodness magic, Ludwig!"

The German looked at his friend, shaking his head. "Nein, I don't believe that."

"Believe what you want, it's true!"

"So why did you mess up your other tricks in the beginning?" asked Gilbert, curious as well. Ludwig elbowed his brother in the ribs, scowling, but Feli had already heard. His shoulders slumped slightly and he sighed.

"Oh, yeah... Well, I didn't practice the other tricks as much, because the box trick was the most dangerous. I had to make sure I got it right, or else someone could have been hurt!"

Lovino, who had been talking to his Nonno and doing his best to ignore the conversation going on next to him, grabbed his brother and snarled, "C'mon, idiot, we have to go home. All these people are gonna need someplace to eat, and the restaurant's gonna be packed. Even with the tomato bastard working tonight, Nonno needs all the help he can get."

"Oh, okay. Bye Luddie, bye Gilbert!" Feliciano waved to the brothers as he was dragged away, grinning the whole way. Ludwig managed a small wave and a tiny smile, and a slight blush. His brother snickered at Ludwig's reaction.

"Not dating my ass."

"Bruder," Ludwig muttered, still waving goodbye to a quickly disappearing Feli, "You open your mouth one more time, and I swear I will punch you in the throat."

**Yay, a really sucky ending. How did Feli do it? Smoke and mirrors? Distractions? Was Alfred in on it, or was it truly magic? Honestly I have no clue.**

**Also, I tried writing the German bros without their accents... Did you like it better, or should I stick to writing their accents in?**


End file.
